lessons from the unemployment line

during these past few months, i've learned a few things.

the upside of unemployment:

• it's true...giving is better than receiving. i'm learning how to serve, something that does not come naturally or easily to me, and to recognize how many opportunities are out there to help someone else, even in a small way.

• hanging out w/friends...is something you can never do enough of. we so easily lose sight of the important things, like relationships, when we are always working, always on the go.

• being a non-consumer in a consuming society...is awesome. i realize more and more how few of my wants are actually needs, except food (gotta eat). which brings me to my next point....

• saving on metro cards...means that i walk through the city at all hours of the day, and how much there is to see!

• going to the gym and grocery shopping...can actually be enjoyable, and done without pushing and shoving, or at least for those of us who can do all these things during the day.

the dark side:

• not having a schedule...makes me feel a little crazy. i never know what day it is (not that i have anywhere important to be).

• eating and sleeping habits...have gone by the wayside. i sleep too much or don't sleep enough, but eat all the time.

• that listless feeling...really kicks in when i don't even have to get out of my pjs all day. you know all those projects/to-do lists hanging over your head, to be tackled when you finally have time? well it still doesn't happen, even when you have all the time in the world.

• getting easily irritated...yes, i consider this a side effect of unemployment. for example, people who get on the subway and ask for money during business hours--can't they see we're really not the people to be asking? or perhaps we are....
  

• and all those other feelings...to keep firmly in check. as the unemployment rate hovers around 10 percent, and people lose homes, struggle to support their families, or deal with illness without health insurance, i'm constantly reminded of how much i have to be grateful for.

someone asked me the other day if i missed my old job/company. i miss some aspects of it (the cool office, the actual work i did), but on the whole, i still feel that getting laid off was and is very much a blessing. a friend told me that getting over a job is like getting over a relationship. according to him, it takes half the amount of time you were in that relationship to recover. so if i go by that theory, since i worked there for two years, it should take one year to get over it...i'm not sure i believe that, but when i watch a 30 rock episode or hear what my old coworkers are up to (or buy tofu at the grocery store and start staring at the expiration date), sometimes i feel a pang...of what, i'm not sure. it's not envy, but just the feeling of something that once was, and isn't anymore.