lately i've fallen into the trap of thinking thin.
bad. wrong.
what i'm really trying to do is:
-eat more fruit and veg
-incorporate exercise regularly into my schedule
-be healthier in general.
but from out of nowhere comes this wretched "think thin"
which my mind won't or can't shake.
so where is this coming from?
it's probably from staring 15 seconds too long at glossy magazines at the checkout stand,
being caught in the cross-fire of post holiday dieting articles online,
and recovering from my own weekend long bout of gluttony and greasy diner food.
as if i want to be an emaciated 90 pound skeleton.
still i can't deny that there must be some secret part of me that does want to experience the feeling (not the image, mind you) of being feather light with delicate bones.
and i admit i'm fascinated by the dichotomy between starving teenage girls and the morbidly obese,
and the way we all have our own complicated relationships with food.
but i have to remember
(and when i do, i feel appropriately guilty)
thinking thin is a sin.
it's like, well, quicksand comes to mind.
better to think as my roommate does
when she mentioned the new year's eve party she was going to:
"I have to look hot for New Year's".
now that makes sense.
much more sense than the absurdity of thinking thin.
better to look hot instead.
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3 comments:
I tried on a pair of trousers that used to fit me a year ago. They're tight. I'm sad; I'm fat. I've got to eat better. Think hot for March, right?
yes, it all comes down to march!
"looking hot for new years" turned into finding a shimmering shrug to hide the flab. at least my mind was in the right place...
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