Sunday, February 10, 2008

refraining from extremes

my roommate is fond of expressing her feelings for, well, whatever she's fond of. "i love movies." "i love eating." "i love food." once, in a fit of pique (that i'm still ashamed of), i asked her if there was anything she did not like. "pickles." (pause) "and cucumbers." (isn't it funny that they're the same thing, by the way? i mean, i like one and not the other). on the other hand, i find myself doing just the opposite. "i hate this." "i hate that." or "i hate it when that happens." as soon as i noticed this habit, i resolved to put a stop to it. so far i've been catching myself more often but can't seem to break myself of it. the two words just end up boiling up and bubbling over, much to my dismay. i'd rather be a lover than a hater (peace, not war!), but i think it takes more effort for me to be positive than stay negative. (a direct contrast to my other roommate, a wide-eyed optimist. she can't understand why i think the world's in such bad shape...and um, she hasn't read the omnivore's dilemma yet). but anyway, i don't think i used those two words once today. maybe because there was so much going on that it slipped my mind. for one thing, i'm grateful that i still have a job after today's shake-up....and although this isn't the perfect job by any means, after the two that i've had in the past year or so, it's the one that i felt was the closest to being in the middle of two extremes, almost a happy medium. almost...because unfortunately the closed doors and hushed pronouncements 0f the day were all too familiar repetitions of the extreme measures that companies take every year. i'm starting to feel like a cat with nine lives...only i think i have about five left.

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