the curious incident of the boyfriend in the night-time

last night, or rather at 4 this morning, my roommate's boyfriend tried to climb into bed with me. i had to punch him on the shoulder and direct him to the room next door before he realized his mistake. muttering an apology, he drunkenly lumbered out of my room and into the living room where he presumably passed the rest of the morning...while i dreamed about osteoporosis.